Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in contagiousjerms' LiveJournal:

Friday, August 12th, 2005
1:39 pm	I GOT THE JOB I got the job @ Safeway (Grocery Store 3 blocks away). It pays $10/hr!!11!1 HOLY SHIT YA KNOW!??! FUCKING SHIT!!1! OMGz0RZ!!1 WTFBBQLOLLIGATORLMFAROFLOLLERCOASTEROFLMCDOFL!!! (That all makes sense if you read it slow) ^_^_^_^_^_^ Anyways, I have just had 3 metric tons of stress lifted from my shoulders. I got a job before my deadline (Aug 15), so I'm not going to be homeless!!! ^_^_^_^_^ Ahh the stresses of living on your own, they will eat you away! But its gone now, kthx gawd. Cya everybody! -Your local friendly neighborhood OGRE!! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 10th, 2005
1:40 am	Eh Hmm not much is up on my end. However I finally got a break on my job search. Safeway called me up for an interview this Thursday. I am a bit relieved. I am kinda drained. Most of the day yesterday, all night, and most of today I was LANing at Danny's house with Kenny and him. It was kind of eventful, at around 11 P.M., I had some alcohol in my system and felt like doing something. We ended up going to Toppenish, for gambling. The trip was entirely lame. It took WAY too long to get there, and WAY too long to get back. The only entertaining part, was a homely looking man. Tattered and torn clothing, missing teeth, balding long greasy hair slicked back, and a tree branch as a walking stick. He came out of the casino looking at us 3, sitting on the bench, feeling and appearing (I'm sure) defeated by the casino. He instantly started blathering on about how he got a speeding ticket on his wheel chair, and that he was in search of Jennifer Lopez, but he couldn't find her so he was "going to go home an fuck his ugly wife", as he put it. Oh yeah, apparently he works for Sugar Ray Leonard as well. Anyways, he was entertaining. Make it a good one... Current Mood: uncomfortable Current Music: Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, August 5th, 2005
11:07 am	Lucid Dreaming Wow I had the weirdest dream last night... I probably have them more often than not, but I rarely remember them. Actually if I do remember them, I remember them for 10 minutes after it happens then they just drift away. Anyways THIS time I remembered. Ok, I don't know how I got there, but I am in this guys large apartment, with several other people. Out of nowhere, I BUY a small paintcan FULL of coke! Immediately I started snorting rails like crazy. After walking around for awhile, I was high and it hit me hard. The scary part is, I actually FELT high. Anyways, then somehow I was transported to this large medieval looking field, where one team had red flags, the other team had yellow flags. We were in lines, and from there it seemed like people just running around. And every 20 minutes I was snorting more coke out of this small paintcan.I started to feel like I was running at insane speeds, and that was that. Then I got back to that guys house, and I put down my paintcan of coke somewhere, and I forgot where. So I started to freak out and after 20 mins of searching frantically I FOUND MY PAINT CAN OF COKE!!!! It had an orange lid, if anyone is wondering. Anyways, then we hopped in his car and I forget where we were headed, but I started to snort more coke (it seemed comical at this point). Then I realized I needed a job, bad (cuz I do in real life) and I was like "HEY!!! HOW LONG TILL THIS STUFF WEARS OFF AND ITS NOT IN MY UA?!", he was like "Eh, at most maybe 5 hours." I was happy as hell and continued to snort more and more coke. It seemed like I was on cloud nine. FUCKING WEIRDEST DREAM EVAR. THE END. -Have a good one. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005
11:31 pm	I feel old Well, I had interesting news today, so I figured it merits me writing an entry. My mom is in the hospital. For those not in the "know", my mother is a drug addict, in the most healthy form, I suppose. She has been addicted to pain killer medication (hydrocodone, perkaset, oxycodone, oxycotent) for several years. Whenever she has a chance to claim she has pain, she will, just to see our doctor who is not afraid to perscribe painkilling medications. I first noticed this behavior a couple years ago. I was skipping school on a nice May afternoon with some girls. (YES I KNOW I AM SUCH A []D.[].[]V[].[]D!!!) Anyways, and I decided to poorly attempt a lay up while playing basketball with them, and I came down with crushing force (apparently) on my ankle. I fell down and was so embarassed, I neglected to realize I was injured. I tried to stand up and act like nothing happened...I couldn't. *GASP*~Somer *GASP* YOUR ANKLE!!!~Sarah. I looked down at it to realize it was split open, needless to say it was SUPER GOREY!! Anyways, after having a FIRETRUCK and an AMBULANCE show up to my rescue (how pathetic), I made my way in the ambulance to the ER. The paramedics insisted they had to insert a cathader (sp?) into my urethra...I didn't fall for it. Anyways, I got to the ER, they gave me wonderful shots of ecstasy, but like most people who get injured, they know medication should be used for a reason, and there are reasons why you don't have access to those medications. Well somehow my mother was never versed in that theory. I got home with a perscription for plenty of hydrocodone and took it as directed. If you haven't been under the influence of heavy painkillers, I'll explain how they feel: Good. After several days of healing on my couch, and occasionally being visited by Somer and Sarah with cookies :)..... my mother decided I was ABUSING THE medication. So she took it for herself. We all know the word for that kind of person. *coughypocritcough*. Since then, she has been faking injuries and pains to get more painkillers, and continues to steal them from people.... I had my wisdom teeth removed several months ago, I went to bed with 20 oxycodone, I awoke with 16. Hmmmm! Anyways I am getting WAY off tangent here. My point is, my mother was ONCE again faking an injury when she went to the hospital. She said she had an ear infection (OMG I JUST HAD ONE TOO!!! DID I GIVE HER A CREATIVE IDEA!?!?) Turns out they took her blood to make sure she was feeling ok...bad news. She is extremely iron deficient. Her iron levels are below half of what they should be and her blood is extremely thin. They were surprised she wasn't passed out. So they rushed her to the hospital, and began a series of treatments, including a blood transfusion. I decided I should visit her, and I did. It wasn't too bad, but I felt old. I was going with a sibling to check up on my mom in the hospital...bleh. That was as interesting as today got. NO LUCK ON A JOB YET, ALTHOUGH I AM APPLYING. NO LUCK ON STARTING A NEW 3D PROJECT, ALTHOUGH I AM TRYING HARD TO FIND INSPIRATION. Well, I think that sums up my life. I am home for the next couple days without Nick or Jessica (Sister and her boyfriend...I LIVE WITH THEM DUH!!) alone. More and more I feel like I need my own place, I don't mind not having people around, in fact they bother me. They are probably the easiest people to get along with, but it just bothers me. I like having my own territory, to call my own and not have to answer to anyone. Anyways, I am looking at a job which might get me $15.50 an hour, and I have the hookups for it! If I DO get that, I may think about moving out earlier than expected...again. Alright, see you. Current Music: The Chemical Brothers - The Big Jump (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 27th, 2005
5:57 pm	Just wanted to let everyone know my computer FINALLY effing works. I have more bad news, but right now isn't the time to write about it. I have a LAN occuring at my place in T-Minus 15 minutes. Have a good one. (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 23rd, 2005
8:38 am	New Outlook? No I'm not talking about a new e-mail client :) Just wanted to let everyone know that, things are better. I am beginning to think I really am bi-polar, and my psychologist thinks I am also, but I never expressed interest in pursueing the problem (via medication). I just woke up and suddenly I am positive I will get a job, and Nick will get his promotion and we will be fine. Oh yeah!! My ear infection seems to be completely gone. I can hear, I didnt wake up in pain, and just in time. I have no more painkillers. I have to help re-arrange my living room, so have a good day everyone. (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 22nd, 2005
9:58 pm	Sorry me. I am being hit hard with life. Reality is setting in, and I don't think anyone I know my age knows what its like to go through what is going on at my house. Being away from home, having no one to look upto, no one to help when the going gets rough. You're out to sea, and you can't rely on anyone but yourself. It's a lonely thought, and it brews anxiety and stress. I was turned down the option to be rehired at Dakota today, so my fail proof plan to become employed has failed. Nick (sisters boyfriend...whom is my roommate) has recently been promoted to a new starbucks position which pays $30k a year. With that income, along with my sisters social security checks every month, we would be financially fine. I would have time to find a job which I can actually work without freaking out with anxiety and panick attacks. But now; today it turns out there has been a complication with Nicks social security number. Someone fucked up and it is linked to another person, other than Nick. So he may not get the job if it doesn't get cleared up. Will it get cleared up? Probably, but balancing on a beam of uncertainty produces unimagineable stress. My sister, Nick, and I all have a sick feeling in our stomachs, because we know we are holding on by a thread. Are we going to be ok? Why do they, and can they continue to put up with my inability to maintain a job. Things are like this rack your brain. I feel worthless, and I get the feeling that Jessica and Nick are losing their belief that I can do this. I get upset, depressed, lonely, and hopeless. I can only look to myself for strength. I never really did look to anyone. Never had much of a mentor or my parents for advice. Growing up I never once got help from my parents on homework. I am a mercy case. I am falling apart and I am just looking to other people to put me back together. Sorry me. bleh. Anyways, I received my motherboard accessories in the mail today, they all came, but I'm not excited or anything. Newegg shipped my motherboard, hopefully it works when I get it. So that is all on time, but I'm not especially hopeful. Whatever. clusterfuck of emotions which is driving me insane. I just need some good news... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 20th, 2005
11:15 pm	Wow...I have retarded friends. Well today was pretty uneventful. It wasn't bad by any means, but I wasn't delivered any good news. Well, my ear infection is definitely clearing up so that is good. My motherboard was received by Newegg (the people who I bought it from) and I should hear back shortly on what type of replacement they are sending me. The BAD news is, they no longer carry the motherboard which I WANTED to replace it with. *sigh* To top it off around 9:30 Bobby calls me up asking if Zack, Daniel, and him, can come over, completely sober, because they "just need a place to hang out". Well with the knowledge of them being *totally sober*, I said it was ok. I should've realized how stupid of a move that was. They all came over completely nuked. So I sat on my back patio with my bad excuses for friends, for roughly an hour. The first thing they wanted, (big surprise), was to sample my painkillers. Wow, I said no, because they have wicked withdrawal symptoms and I need to come off of them slowly. Then they got on the subject of taking seroquel. For those of you who don't know what seroquel is, its a tranquilizer to help people with sleeping disorders. They were talking about how it trips you out and how it makes you pass out. Bingo! I realized I had 4 boxes of it! So I went upstairs got them promptly, and brought them back down. This seemed to satisfy their thirst for narcotics. I survived their conversations about magma burning through your eye socket, and whether or not the government had "super anti acid" suits. Yeah. They left and here I am writing an entry. Goodbye. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, July 18th, 2005
3:40 pm	Relief Well, I had a rather interesting day again. I woke up at 5:30 am, (I went to bed at 2:30), in excruciating pain. I ran downstairs, took some painkillers, used my ear drops and took some tylenol, and my anti biotic and then crashed on my couch. Every 2 hours I woke up hurting and took more painkillers, then I realized I was running out. O_O So I called up urgent care, and they were no help, so I called up my real doctor and made an appointment. I went in, sweating, coughing, tired as hell, and I told my doctor straight up, I need more and better painkillers. He pretty much examined my ears and told me what I knew. I had an ear canal infection on both ears and I also had an inner ear infection, which is associated with being sick and maybe having pneumonia. Ick. Anyways, so my ears are bad, thats what matters and he perscribed me perkaset O_O. A very powerful dose also. Hopefully they give me some good sleep tonight. I will be selling them at $3 a pop :) Right now I am dosing off, and I think Danny is coming over to watch Suspect Zero with me shortly. I pretty much have a very optimistic outlook on life right now because of these painkillers. Quite nice in deed. Also, my psychologist had his receptionist call me and inform me of a meeting for patients with bi-polar disorder tonight at his office. I thought it kind of odd, because I haven't been officially diagnosed with it, but he has been hinting at it for quite awhile... If I do have it, its not too severe I dont think. I dont know, I dont feel like thinking about it, in my weakened condition :) Goodbye. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
12:03 am	Argh Well, I got my hydrocodone and I was floating on cloud nine for quite some time. After several hours of that, Danny came by and then Riley did as well. Riley was itching to do something, like go to the river or something. I agreed we should do something, and although it seemed my ear infection was getting worse. I decided to go anyways. We headed on over to the boat docks, and hung out in the slimey humid air for awhile. We got bored and then decided we wanted to go to the highest point in the Tri Cities. The highest point should be one of the surrounding hills, as we are in a basin. Anyways, after about an hour of driving through creepy country roads, nearly running over and being chased by several dogs, and one rabbit, we found the right road. Driving steadily for about a half hour, we drove until we could no more. (The entire drive made my ear ache worse than it ever has before. I suppose the differing amounts of air pressure really screwed it up.) We got out, and the first thing I noticed, was that, it was silent. The silence was literally deafening. You didn't even WANT to talk, or make a sound. It was too bad that I was having waves of extreme pain in my ear. Although it still seemed enjoyable. The moon was extremely bright, and it faintly lit up the hillside. It was cloudless as well, which provided a great view of the stars, because we were so far from the city lights. After awhile of hanging out there, I started to feel very hot, claustrophobic (sp?), and sick. I assume this was because I had ingested 3000 mg of hydrocodone in the past 6 hours and I was coming off of it. Luckily we were on our way back to the car. The ride home was equally painful and I couldn't wait to get home and get some more hydrocodone! Bleh. Once past the initial high of hydrocodone, it really just turns into a pain medication and no longer recreational. At this point, relieving pain is all that matters. Luckily I just took 2 more and Im starting to wind down. Ok thats it for tonight. Current Mood: sick (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 17th, 2005
3:02 pm	I feel like shit :) I feel like shit! Yay. Well for the first time in atleast a year, I am sick of some sort. I have an ear infection. It is making my life a living hell. It feels like someone is shanking my ear with a pencil. So I started using some OTC ear drops, which had no effect. After 4 days of the infection progressing into an entity of its own, living inside me, like some demon, I decided to seek professional help. I went to urgent care, and I stood there waiting, for this lazy bitch of a receptionist, to stop talking about whos dating who, and when Tom Cruise's birthday is. After 30 mins of just waiting for her to stop gossiping in the other room, she took my insurance information, and I sat in the waiting room for another 15 mins. (This is URGENT care remember) The nurse (male) was really cool, and got into a big conversation about videogames with me, funny how shit like that happens, anyways and then the doctor came in and gave me the bad news. I have cancer. Oh wait, I mean, I have a really bad ear infection. Both ears are infected, one is really inflamed, and I need to get antibiotics and ear drops in them ASAP. She asked me if I needed something for the pain, I said yeah it feels like someone is drilling a serrated edge steel skewer into my ear, and I played dumb, like I didnt know what vicatin, or hydrocodone is. She wrote vicatin, (dont know how you spell it), down and then I asked her on my way out, how many prescriptions is she faxing. She said two... so I dont think she is giving me anything for the pain. Instead I may just ask my bro for one of his hydrocodone perscriptions. Anyways, I hate being infected/sick/injured/dieing. On a side note, I went to a Halo LAN last night, and fucking owned all night. It was truely sad. I ended up with 50 kills and 8 deaths at one point. Anyways, on the way into Davids house, I looked at the picture on his wall, of his sister... Kathryn. The girl who kinda stalked me at times and I almost feared. Turns out she gets hotter by the day. Damn me for not taking advantage of my opportunity last year right? No, Im sure she is still the same, controlling, frightfully smart (which I kinda liked) person. Anyways, it kinda shows how shallow guys can be. Even though I pride myself in liking girls for their personality more than anything, I'm still a weakling for physical attributes. Anyways, I thought of giving her a call, but I hear she is wrapped up in another relationship right now, (mind you he is...7 years older? but her parents don't know that). Miranda is still in NYC, which I didn't even know she was going to? I felt kinda uninformed, and not in the "loop" of her friends. Maybe it was just something local? Eh its probably no big deal. I need a cigarette. Current Mood: irritated Current Music: None, I don't have a working PC (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 13th, 2005
6:28 pm	Not a whole lot. Hmm I really don't even feel like writing an entry at this point, but my endearing fans need entertainment. ^_^ Last night we had a Halo 1 LAN for the first time in 8 months. Halo 1, at one point (3 years straight), was the center of our entertainment. We played EVERY weekend, and I don't think I need to stress the importance of it much more. But, basically, it became the glue that held our group of friends together, and sometimes it tore us apart. Either way, since Halo 2 came out, we stopped playing Halo 1 and we stopped having LANs, and we fell apart to say the least. So I decided to round up the scattered bits of friends still willing to get back into the Halo scene, and we had a small LAN. I think it was a definite success, and it really filled a void. Lately I haven't been having fun, in anything. I don't have my main computer up and running, so I can't do my 3D animation, I moved out of my house, so I don't have my brothers for entertainment. I am quite a bit farther away from my friends, so they don't visit me very often, and since I don't have a car, I am a bit stranded. It definitely gets lonely here. And when I do get lonely, I tend to just worry about issues in my life, and become a mentally unstable 18 year old geek with severe anxiety. I am doubting my 3D animation abilities even. Sometimes, I kind of give up hope on my quest to become a game designer, and when I don't have that, it seems I have nothing. Enough of that humbug though. Last night I had the chance to hang out with a dear dear friend, who I regretfully have not seen in months. His name is David, and he is probably one of the coolest people I know. Very original thinker, with a very solid head on his shoulders, with little skewing, or disillusionment which you find in so many young people today. Hes a straightforward thinker, very much like myself, and isn't afraid to tell you whats on his mind. Anyways, I suppose I just wanted you all to know what David is like. (BTW he is the exact opposite of me physically, except he is about 6 foot, but no one I know comes close to my sky scraper body frame >_<) David and I got to talking, for quite awhile in fact, (Danny was present) and I remembered he was into film n such. I brought up the idea that we should make another film. Something original, short, and made you think, or made you laugh. He completely agreed we should do it, and I believe I would be a good actor if nothing else. I always thought I would make a good actor when I was growing up, but, I never pursued it because of self esteem issues, and the instability of the acting/theatre field of work. Anyways, me and David are going to team up and make an original movie, and currently I am thinking up ideas for it. They are far and few inbetween, but I am confident we will think of something which will entertain all. Thinking of things like this though, taking up new projects, depress me. All I can think about is if I will get a job soon, or whats going to happen with my 3D animation, almost anyone I know would tell me that I am great at 3D animation, and I have a bright future. Self doubt is my worst nightmare. I hate it. Alright, as for future plans for Halo, we have already planned another event (bigger) at Davids house on Saturday. Should be good fun. I've g2g... need nicotine. Thats another thing I need to do. Quit smoking. I am at a pack a day, and its expensive! OK OK, g2g. Please leave a comment :) (1 Comment |Comment on this)